Selfishly Selfless

In everyday life, it’s very tough to not be selfish. Yes, of course we’d all like to think that we are selfless. It’s simple human nature to assume that we are the best of the best. Even after gloomy days where we feel like the worst versions of ourselves, we push past and put on our best faces and move forward. We try and suppress that inner feeling of hunger to just focus on ourselves, and rather we try and push all of our energy onto others.

I am no stranger to this, as I’m sure neither are you. Now I know you’re thinking “No, I am completely selfless and only care about others” or “No, I am completely selfish and could care less about how others feel”. I am not here to claim to be a mind reader. I am simply here to state that there is no way to be completely one or the other. It is basic human nature to have a “natural default setting”, as David Walter Foster would say, to be self-centered and not take into account others in our day to day life. Foster would argue that it is possible to “adjust” our setting and make a new default. That instead of thinking it's only you against the world, that it's everybody against the world. Everybody in their daily life is in their own bubble but all added together we’re all just floating and passing by and we bump into each other, but it’s up to us how to bounce back.

There is no action that is completely selfless. Take for example a relationship. In the song “Glitter” by Tyler the Creator, the beginning of the song is upbeat and cheerful. The singer is talking about how the person he is in love with, the listener, has “been on my mind” and how “every time you come around I feel like glitter”. Glitter is used to show how bubbly and happy they are, even just by the simple presence of their loved. Now at the end of the song, the music gets very low and slow. The rapper speaks about how “this is one sided” and “please don’t save me”. This all implies that there was a breakup or that perhaps this entire relationship was one sided. If that’s the case, then he broke up with his lover to “set him free” or used the cliche “it’s for the best” or “you deserve better” when this whole scenario played out. In that moment, he is still selfish. He wants to have that final thought, the final say, the final note. By him breaking up with him using those lyrics to describe those events, he is making himself the better person.

At the end of the day, everybody is equally selfish and selfless, It is up to each individual to figure out for themselves how they want to live their everyday lives, how they want to sing their notes, how they want to spread their message.